Going backpacking or traveling on a budget? The chances are you’ll end up staying in hostels meeting a lot of new people. And you never know, one could turn out to be the love of your life!
Hostel Romance: Is It Worth It?
There’s really nothing romantic about a room full of bunk beds and no personal space.
As experience has led me to believe, it’s never really stopped anyone, but that isn’t the important question.
The real inquiry here is whether it’s worth it.
I was the bartender at a hostel on my gap year in Australia for a couple of months—it was mostly a game of tilt and pour, the beer on tap was easily the most popular choice—and when you settle down in a place for a couple of days, you get the hang of being around people.
And when you get the hang of that, you start to want more.
While I was doing a work-stay switch with the hostel, I wasn’t the only young traveller wandering around the halls for longer than the typical 3-night stay. Like the similarly-aged backpackers either travelling, working in Australia or interning and learning the hospitality trade, I was young, unattached, and out on my own—it was the perfect atmosphere to make friends. But as it turned out, it wasn’t just a perfect atmosphere to make friends, but also to make more than friends.
He was tall, Greek, and to me, absolutely gorgeous. For the other girls on staff, he was a bit nerdy (what can I say, I like a guy in horn-rimmed glasses toting around a bag full of books), but for me, he was perfect.
We bonded over a shared love of Billy Idol and kimchi and found ourselves turning my evenings at the bar into late walks around the city at night after I closed. It was romance at almost first sight.
Top Tips for Hostel Romance
While I can’t tell you whether it’s a good idea or not, to begin any kind of relationship while you’re staying in a hostel, but here’s what I learned:
1. Be careful
From trying to figure out how to see each other (hopefully privately) to making sure you’re being safe, this relationship is probably more of a three-ring circus than many of your previous ones. For me, the hostel experience meant there was always someone on one of the bunks making out, and outbursts into the dorm at 3am weren’t exactly seldom—but it comes with the territory of stay in a hostel, which I have concluded is more or less a young adult version of summer camp (just with alcohol instead of smores) and I couldn’t say I wasn’t doing it too. If you’ve got the emotional constitution of an Iron Man (an actual man made out of iron, not Robert Downing Jr. though he’s a tough one too), then have at it. If not, take some iron supplements because you’re going to need it.
2. Just be honest
You know the three little words some people try to rush, some people say too late, and some people just don’t know what do with them? It’s unnecessary in this situation to worry about it, because if you say it and it backfires, no worries, you’re already moving on to your next stop. Even if you say it and it goes over well, you’re still going to move along to your next stop. So be flexible, be realistic, and don’t go Tolstoy on anyone (just keep it simple, it’s what makes the whole thing great).
3. You’ve got a time limit
Anyone who says any differently is kidding themselves. I’ve had friends who made relationships abroad that lasted two days to two years. But eventually, it all ends. For some people, this is horrifying. For others, it’s just what the doctor ordered. There’s nothing wrong with wanted it to last two days, or wanting it to last two years, just know which one you are before you dive—it just makes coming back up a little easier.
4. Have fun
I can’t stress it enough how important it is to stay safe, but the other thing I can’t stress too much is how important it is to just live your life. You’re young, so give in sometimes. What’s holding you back? Maybe you’re not after a life-changing adventure, but if you’re travelling around the world, it’s going to happen anyway. So use your judgement and let it.
Did you fall in love with the night receptionist at the hostel in Paris? What about the chef at the 5-star one you bunked a couple of nights at in Morocco? Share your great hostel love stories here, I’d love to read them!